Further Transformation

On Friday afternoon, the husband and I chowed down on some of my favorite Chinese food. It’s not necessarily good or real Chinese food. It just comes in these boxes and that makes my heart unbelievably happy.  My heart probably smiles every time we have it delivered.

This, blog, however is not about the food which was delivered (and tasty as always). It’s actually about what happens after one finishes a meal that consisted of sweet and sour chicken or general tso’s chicken.

It’s about the fortune cookies. More specifically about how spot-on fortune cookies always seem to be with me. Especially this one. What was my fortune? you may be wondering. Well, here it is:

Now, this fortune might now seem all that life shattering to anyone other than me. You see, there are words which get tossed around the blogs I read like: Wholeheartedness, Vulnerability, Authenticity. They’re almost like catch phrases right now, except that they hold a weight behind them that is hard to describe.

Anyhow, I struggle with those words. And, I also struggle with making real connections with people. It has a lot to do with things that went down when I was younger and the way which I protect myself. But, recently, I’ve started becoming frustrated with that. I want the real relationships. I want the hurt that can come from them because only then can I get the love and connection. I also want to be real with myself.

This leads me to where I am this year. I want to be gentle with my soul. I want to listen and grow, embrace my imperfections and let go.

And, I’m starting this, which brings me back to my fortune. I am taking a photography class with a friend and we’re learning all kinds of amazing things. And, I’m taking a Mondo Beyondo Dream Lab, which is all about community and happens to be with BrenĂ© Brown who, you know, studies this stuff for a living. The stars have aligned for me and I am feeling woah blessed right now. I’m also feeling safe and ready to explore.

Happy Monday my friends.