I’m sitting at my dining room table currently, slighty distracted by the mess which is our home.
It’s a lived in mess, but it’s a mess none-the-less.
Taking down the sewing stuff helped tons, but the buffet still has the remnants of Christmas dishes (yes, I have them) on it.
In the corner where our tree was, stands the boxes ready to be packed into our storage unit in the basement.
The kitchen has clean dishes in the drying rack and dishes ready to be washed in the sink. Our dining table has decorations for the windows sitting on it, along with books that we received today as gifts.
It’s a mess, but it’s home.
I’m not perfect by any means. Actually, I walked into the apartment from a coffee date this afternoon and was fairly perturbed that the husband was hanging out in his “gaming chair” playing video games and hadn’t touched the few dishes out or the Christmas decorations, which he was supposed to do today.
But, I take a deep breath and I think, “Okay. That’s okay.”
It is and it isn’t. I can tell you, dear internets, that the most common disagreement in our home is that my mister doesn’t do his fair share, in my eyes.
He cooks amazing dinners, which means I don’t have to. If it were me, I would probably eat grilled cheese, pimento on celery, and maybe a salad on occasion. Or Chipotle. However, for example, while creating* dinner last night, he used:
- three plastics bowls
- two baking pans — a pie pan and a baking sheet
- four knives
- a cast iron pan
- two cutting boards.
Not to mention the silverware we used, the cups with water sporadically around the house, and the dishes we ate from.
So, I walk in and sigh and shrug him off when he comes to hug me because I’m frustrated.
And, when I’m honest, he totally gets the short end of that stick, whether it’s frustration with him or with the world in general, and typically it’s both. But, I don’t really know how to fix it. I want a clean house. I want dishes put away and Christmas decorations out of sight, since we took them down over a week ago.
And yet, I don’t have time to do it.
But I’m tired of throwing the cutting words out. For example, when he was trying to pour out something in the sink so that I could wash it, I threw out: “If you wanted to do the dishes, you should have done them while I was gone.”
Oh, that’s lovely. And sure to keep our marriage stable and strong.
There is true feeling in those words.
I’m often met with a hurtful gaze and the words hang in the air, imaginary words like, “You should just tell me to do it.” But, love, I did tell you. I asked you to. And it didn’t get done. So, yes, I’m frustrated.
So, what’s a girl to do?
*He really does create food. I promise.