A Love Note to 2010

Dear 2010,

What a beautiful, intense, crazy, lovely, difficult, trying, sad, joyful, vulnerable year you were for me.

We started out the year with the husband working a god awful job at god awful hours and becoming incredibly depressed. We also started it out having to use food stamps, which, if you’ve never been through the process is humiliating, trying, and sad. I had finally found a job which I didn’t love but gave us $180 a week which at that point was necessary.

We ended the year with the husband working at a job he loves, even if it is trying at times. With me having an assistantship, and us no longer needing food stamps. And us both healthy, mentally and physically.

In between, the husband and I fought, cried, loved, laughed and were unbelievably stressed out. We saw an amazing amount of snow and all four seasons. My car got hail damage, we moved to a new apartment, we danced to records on hardwood floors.

We started cooking at home a lot more and eating at tastier, nicer restaurants when we went out. Don’t worry, I still love fast food. We were also a lot more concerned with doing things locally and supporting indie. We spent a lot of time at the local bars drinking and laughing. We made new friends and threw parties. We danced and loved more.

I grew more open and more vulnerable to life. I worked on some incredibly hard things with my therapist and had some incredibly deep wound-salving conversations with my mom. Speaking of, I called home more often and kept up with “date” nights with friends back home. I took care of myself more and listened to my body. And, I can’t tell you how soothing meditating has been.

We had visitors, and each of them brought something wonderful to our life. I love opening the door to visitors. I love serving people and having them in my home. With each visitor we had genuine fun, some of the first we’d had in a long time. We became tourists in our town and we appreciated it so much more.

We decorated and redecorated. We decluttered and cluttered and decluttered again. We repurposed things we owned, sold things we didn’t want and bought a new-to-us fold out couch. I found a love for decorating and a love of vintage/antique/junk. I planned a garden and the husband let me bounce ideas off him. We paid off credit cards to fill them up again to pay them off and destroy them. We traveled to Colorado, Illinois (Chicago) and Indiana.

And we danced, and laughed, and loved.

2010, you were a hard, vulnerable, at times painful, stressful and sad year. But you were also a joyful, laughing, dancing, spirited and amazing year. You were my first year as a dyed in the wool adult. You watched me create a baby family and you helped me to appreciate the husband more. You watched me become more spiritual, less spiritual and then bounce back again. You witnessed my questioning, crying, loving, laughing, and everything in between.

2010, you were a good year, and I don’t think I would trade you for anything.